I'm Not Dating My "Ideal" Man and That's Okay

"Hmmm... I'd prefer a lanky guy, blonde, hazel eyes, not too muscular, and he has to have a good sense of humor. Also, he has to think I'm funny. He has to be willing to live in the country, and know how to dress well, and he needs to be very intellectual."
Heard this before? Yeah. Me too.
Nearly every girl I know has run through her shopping list of "ideal man" qualities at one point or another. Not going to lie, I've done it too.
My own list was somewhere along the predictable lines of  tall, dark, and EXTREMELY handsome. I wanted someone taller than my own 5'9'' and very smart, a Shakespeare geek like me, and obviously someone with a passion for everything I liked.

No copyright infringement intended.

But guess what? I'm not dating my "ideal man." Nope.
In fact, God probably started laughing each time my friends and I went through our lists, because one day I met someone very different from my version of perfect. He is not dark haired, in fact his hair is somewhere between red and orange. His eyes aren't the "ideal"green, (they're actually this incredible color that looks like liquid gold in the sunlight. Oops, did I just say that?). He'd rather read non-fiction books about the stock market, or being successful in business than Shakespeare, and he didn't like coffee much when we first met. (Don't worry, he's joined the dark side.) But, regardless of all of this, he is the ideal.

Why? Because my imaginary man was nowhere near the mark (aside from the handsome and smart part)
I didn't know that I would need someone who actually enjoys doing taxes, or who likes the 49'ers, loves Looney Tunes and doesn't really get excited about ice cream. But God knew. He knew I needed a man who will make me laugh hysterically when he uses a strange metaphor, who'll enjoy my silly blog posts, and might even like cats and small children more than I do. Someone who will burst out singing Spanish songs randomly, dare me to eat a Chipotle burrito faster than him, and is willing to drive in Boston, while I hyperventilate and have panic attacks in the passenger seat. Someone who will kneel down and say the rosary with me when we're most annoyed, stressed, or upset about something.

But that's the whole point. God knows. His ideal for you is already so much better than the combination of all the qualities on your little checklist could possibly be. He created someone that you're never going to be able to describe until the day they're by your side. Maybe you won't find them in a tiny college on a mountain in the middle of who-the-hell-knows-where New England, but you will find him.
 And suddenly, it hits you: he's not your ideal, he's a million times better.

It's 3 a.m.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. It's what they all say. 
I think I'd have to agree, for I have never loved him more than in these months of separation. I have never felt my heart strings pulled so tightly, like an old puppet's, as when I think for a split second it is his voice I hear while hurrying to morning classes. I've never had a harder time falling asleep than these weeks of knowing he is hundreds of miles away.
 I wish I could say that I'm strong and independent without him, but the truth is, I don't want to be. I want nothing more than to be vulnerable if it means he is here; to be dependent, if it is his strong shoulders on which I depend. I don't even mind that my normal "no-romance" face is crumbling, because what the hell, it's 3 a.m. and I miss you more than anything, love. 

Yeah, I've got it bad, this love thing. 
_________________________________________________________________________________

Bruce Jenner and Ryland Whittington: To Laugh Or To Cry

Today, as I knelt in the humid Wisconsin air, scratching away at scrubby plants with a worn, yellow-handled weeder, my head was filled, somewhat unwillingly, with thoughts of the recent Bruce Jenner incident.

 In a way, I am awed at how quickly this story became a national topic. A man who held somewhat of a celebrity status decided that after decades of being a man, it was time to become his "true self." By now you will have seen the Vanity Fair cover plastered on every social media site, and the shelves of most grocery stores; the slender legs, white corset, and  the coy, albeit slightly stretched smile of the man who would now like to be addressed as "Caitlyn". The physical evidence of his being a man, removed and other clearly feminine attributes added, Bruce has achieved what he believes is his "true self."

And the crowd goes wild.

"A hero!" They shout. "An example to us all!" "We accept you for who you truly are!" The nearly unanimous response is one of warm welcome to the "new" Bruce.

And to those who dare not to accept this altered Bruce, the masses snarl,  "Bullies!" "Prejudiced!" "Unkind!" "Ridiculous!" and "Disrespectful!" I've witnessed this in my own newsfeed, and as the debate explodes, I have to wonder if I should laugh or cry. Honestly, this incident is not all that surprising; it appears to be the next logical step in our society's rapid journey down a road that leads to an all-encompassing "inclusiveness," regardless of any moral compass, or merely a good dose of common sense.

For a different example, a few months ago, you might recall that People magazine ran a story about a California couple insisting that others address their six year old daughter, Ryland, as "he," because Ryland told them she was a boy and "began to show aversion to anything feminine." So, the six year old was allowed to don boy clothing, and be addressed as "he." And again, the praise from our nation overflowed.

Ryland Whittington

 I remember my best friend growing up had insisted on being called "Henry" for quite some time, and her parents had merely chuckled and complied, but they didn't rush to the mall to buy her a tuxedo and boxers. Why? Because she was a child, still incapable of deciding what color of toothbrush to get from the dentist, let alone whether she was ready to spend the rest of her life as a boy. Today, she is a beautiful young woman and a happy one at that.

Ryland and Bruce are both products of a world that has turned on its head. Our society has rejected the idea of the woman being the nurturer in the family, the childbearer and a gentle feminine presence, who is the strongest supporter of her husband, the one whose talent holds the family together and of the man being the provider, the rock of the family, and its head.The contemporary woman does not fulfill her crucial role any longer and our nation's birthrate is rapidly declining. The year 2013 saw the lowest birthrate in our nation's history. Larger families (by this I mean more than two children) have become so rare that they are typically regarded as an oddity. Our country's general consensus: women need not retain that old-fashioned stereotype of the mother and wife. It is too restricting and of course, children are such a burden. As I heard just last week at work, "God bless anyone who has more than two!"

So, who will fill the void? Who will take the place of those women, who, whether consciously or not, have rejected the role of nurturer and mother? Bruce will. Bruce and the rest of the men in our world who have embraced their effeminate side. It seems only logical that now that most women reject their femininity, men will follow their lead by abandoning their masculinity, much to the approval of those around them.

So, what are we to do? Grow angry? Get into a huge debate on Facebook with our co-worker?
Nope.
Weed the broccoli, listen to the Weepies, and don't lose any sleep over it.
But do not accept. Do not comply with the spoon-fed ideas that the media and our society will try to shove into your mouth. I do not accept. And you who scream, "Accept!" will ironically enough, be the last to tolerate a dissenting view on the subject.

My friends, the world spins madly on, but there is still sangria and sunshine, a garden to be weeded and fish to be caught. Last but not least, please pray for Bruce Jenner, Ryland Whittington and for our nation. These are confusing and difficult times indeed and nothing can be solved, no one, whether it be me, you, or Bruce Jenner, can be healed without the graces that come from our Divine Physician.  

Blog Name and URL Change

Hi to anyone who might be reading this! I just wanted to say, I made a slight change to the blog's title and URL. It's now The Clock Maker's Daughter, as my father informed me that this is what his technical profession is called and it's what I originally wanted to name the blog. So it's been changed! The URL is also changed in accordance with the new title. Keep reading. And let me know what you think! Your comments encourage me to keep writing!
-The Clock Maker's Daughter

"Dear Virginia": A Soldier's Love Letters

A couple of weeks ago, I spent some time in Brimfield, Massachusetts with my mom, sister, and aunt at the Brimfield Antique Fair. My terrific aunt is a wheeling and dealing vendor at Brimfield and this was my second time joining her under a giant yellow and white striped canvas tent, amidst a wild array of vintage clothing and the most interesting assortment of people you could bring together in one place at one time.

After helping set up my aunt's boutique in the Mahogany Ridge Fashion Tent, I headed out to wander around the endless acres of antique-filled tents. If you haven't been to Brimfield, then it's hard to imagine because words can't really describe just how random, hilarious, and wonderful it is! It's essentially a jungle of everything from collectibles to items you could swear came straight from your Grandma's attic. The neat thing is there's something for everyone there, whether young or old and you just never can predict what treasures you'll find.Such as this Aussie looking vintage hat, which came home with me.

I scoped out various tents, and after purchasing a Victorian looking wristwatch, stumbled across a boutique with an assortment of old letters, tied with dark ribbon. I immediately snatched up the packet with the most letters and excitedly asked the vendor if the real letters were still intact. Clutching them to me when her answer came back affirmative, I paid the six dollars and headed back to my aunt's tent to read them.

To my excitement, I found that I had picked a stack of letters from the 1940's. They were written by a young soldier, Theodore Mayville, to his sweetheart, a girl named Virginia Watson, who was living in Grand Isle, Vermont. His letters were the only ones in the pile, but my romantic mind enjoyed imagining her replies.

For me, this somewhat deteriorated pile of papers was like a miniature time capsule and as I poured over each letter, it made me realize just how much has been lost in modern communication, whether it be through social media, texting, or other forms of dialogue. Once easily obtained, a message seems to be that much less precious and though convenient, the occasional text only conveys the bare minimum, making one's thoughts and emotions much less intimate. I pull out some stationary and write letters every month or so, but my absentminded scribblings can't compare to these letters, which conveyed every emotion this young man was feeling: sadness, longing, bitterness, joy, all conveyed in a few hundred words.

   Theodore was clearly stricken and wrote some overwhelmingly affectionate lines to "Ginny." But other moments have a grave tone to them, as Theodore must have been experiencing the suffering that only a soldier could understand, he tells her to keep her fingers crossed and pray that he might return to her side when the War is over.

After tearing through these letters, I wanted so badly to know what had happened to these two young people. He had begun writing to her from a training ground somewhere in the South Pacific, but in the last several letters, he'd been in Germany. I had to know. Did Theodore return to the states? Did he survive the war? What happened to Ginny?

A picture that fell out of one of the envelopes. I'd imagine one of these young women is "Ginny."

So I began to research, and sure enough, I found an obituary from just last year of one Theodore Mayville. As I scanned the obit, I became increasingly disappointed. It looked like Theodore's wife was not called Virginia. With a sinking heart, I realized they must have fallen apart. However, in the finishing paragraphs I saw that "Teddy," as he'd dubbed himself, had been preceded in death by his first wife and the mother of his children, Virginia. There it was! I triumphantly shouted, "THEY DID GET MARRIED!" And then realized, that I was slightly emotionally invested at this point. Virginia and Teddy married and had several children together. After her death, Teddy remarried.

My question now, is why would someone throw out these beautiful notes; this written testimony of a father's, or perhaps a grandfather's love?  Maybe I'm just more sentimental than most. In any case, I loved reading them and they gave much joy to a stranger decades after they were written. After all, who doesn't love a happy ending?

Princess Charming-But-Only-After-Caffeine-Consumption

In between reading Chaucer and DesCartes, Latin tests and job hunting on the web, I've found myself thinking a lot about where I'm headed in my life and just how much of that involves this handsome ginger I happen to be dating and I think I'd like to do a series of posts about relationships. Not to go all sentimental on you, but just because I have a lot of weird ideas that need to be spilled and vented properly.

Since starting my first serious relationship I've had the realization that I am SO unprepared for marriage. In my book, that's the entire purpose of dating, to see if that person is someone you would spend the rest of your life with. Hence, why I was not allowed to date in high school, because when you still need your mom to drive you to the theater, it just doesn't make sense.

On the other hand, I'm not advocating that people go out "hunting" for a spouse once they reach a decent age, which seems to be a fairly common concept, especially among Catholics and Christians. If you've reached seventeen and you feel the need to start talking to that older guy with the pit bull next door, just stop and breathe. There's no need to do that.

The right person for you will come into your life at some point, and when they do, it'll be fantastic! But until then, calm down. Relax. Go have some adventures, eat some Starburst jelly beans, try underwater basket weaving, and DON'T PANIC. You can wait around listening to Taylor Swift songs and expecting Prince Charming to fall from the sky, or you can live life, and while you're out star-gazing from the Rockies, or becoming a Marine Biologist,  you might just find that other person in the most unexpected way possible. I honestly believe that when you stop fretting about it, you become that much happier and as the lovely miss Audrey Hepburn said:

On the other hand, if you are currently in a relationship and feeling all those tingly feels, think about what that means.

I know for me, maybe due to those baby-doll toting instincts that started around age two, I grew up determined that I would just get married as soon as humanly possible. Now, however, I look in the mirror and think, "Me? Get married right now? Umm...... hahahaha! NO." It's not because I have an aversion to marriage, or that I feel drawn to a fancy little desk job somewhere. Nope. For me, it's simply a realization that I have so much to work on before I can be a dependable spouse for any guy, whether it's the one I'm currently dating, or someone I'll meet 10 years from now. How can I expect a Prince Charming when I'm essentially Princess Sometimes-Charming-But-Only-After-Caffeine? It's a two way street, people.

I've been told that marriage is difficult; really, really difficult and when I find myself struggling to get my teeth brushed and makeup on before 2 p.m. every day , I just realize that in no way am I in a responsible enough state of existence to be someone's wife, or mother. I want to be ready and capable before I make that leap. I  understand that no one can ever be 100% prepared, but it would be great to at least be somewhere around half that, or maybe to just be able to choose an apple over a dozen Chips Ahoy when the scale indicates it's time. At the very least, I want to be kinder, stronger, sweeter, and wiser. Not perfect, just better. Is that too much to ask?

Obviously, everyone is unique, but I just want to say to any one considering marriage, or searching for "the one," try not to rush into things. If that person really loves you, they'll understand that it takes time to figure life out, to grow, mature, and have a few crazy adventures before the serious stuff begins. And if you feel like he or she is nowhere to be found, stop looking around every corner for him. Take some time to focus on your own personal growth. The more you've grown in all the best areas of your personality, the better it'll be when things do get difficult, as they undoubtedly will down the road.

So, from Princess Charming-But-Only-After-Caffeine-Consumption to you... drink ALL the coffee and work on that charm stuff. It'll be okay. 


YOU HAVE NOW REACHED THE END OF MY CRAZY RANT. THANKS FOR READING!

My Bucket List for Life

Life is crazy. It surprises me at every turn. Just when I think I know exactly what's coming next, it
throws a new adventure my way, or a roadblock pops up and I have to travel a different road. I used to feel like I could only take so many roads in life before the journey would end.

Lately, however, my heart has been telling me otherwise. I think my natural inclination is to fear the unknown, and yet to long for it with every fiber of my being. I want to accomplish so many things, but I'm always fighting my fears. Will I ever have the money for that? What if I get injured? What if I don't succeed? And the list goes on and on and on. More times than not, these thoughts win out. My heart is not a terribly courageous one and that's not something I'm proud of; it's just the way it is. I'm not sure why, but I feel always so cautious in the face of life's wildness.
Lately, though, I've decided that I need to stop fearing the possibilities, and instead of asking, "How?" ask, "Why on earth not?" I'm not willing, as cheesy as this may sound, to continually live in a state of caution and fear. I want to have adventures, and not just tiptoe along my road, but run, leap, and dance!

So here is my bucket list. It is a compilation of my ideas of what I want to accomplish before I reach the end of my road.
Some of them are silly. Some serious. But I hope that one way or another, they all come to be.

MY BUCKET LIST OF AWESOMENESS

1. Write a book (any book will do!)
2. Have said book published
3. Travel Europe (especially Ireland)
4. Dance in a public place with a loved one
5. Teach literature and writing
6. Improve piano skills
7. Learn German
8. Pet a Giraffe (I LOVE giraffes!)
9. Improve painting and drawing abilities 
10. Open a photography studio in my home
11. Catch a HUGE fish!
12. Go ice fishing (maybe that should have preceded 11?)
13. Write for a magazine
14. Drive a big black pick-up
15. Go to a concert with thousands of people
16. Make homemade bread successfully
17. Improve knitting skills
18. Try surfing
19. Have my own garden
20. Earn multiple degrees (I almost have my first!!!)
21. Have a stranger offer to buy me a drink
22. Try all kinds of new foods
23. Read as many books as possible
24. Watch the sun set from the top of a mountain
25. Be someone's maid of honor
26. Try a fried pickle
27. Improve sewing skills
28. Visit each of the 50 states
29. Drink coffee at a sidewalk cafe
30. Watch every Alfred Hitchcock movie ever made!
31. Drive a mini-cooper
33. Walk the Camino
34. Go skinny-dipping (again, that is...)  
35. Learn how to freaking French-braid
36. Learn how to curl my hair (yes, at 19, I still can't)
37. Go on a mission trip to a foreign country
38. Own/help operate a thrift store
39. Have a leading role in a play
40. Become more educated about music and art
41. Ride in a hot air balloon
42. Star gaze from a mountain
43. Have my own writing studio
44. Learn how to tie a tie
45. Be more adventurous with my style
46. Get in shape (you knew it was coming, didn't you?)
47. Milk a cow
48. Sing a solo, or duet in front of a crowd
49. Grow stronger in my faith (this should be number 1...)
50. Find sea glass at the ocean
51. Dance and laugh more frequently
52. Try a shot of Tequila ( or maybe two, or three...)
53. Go rock climbing
54. Own a fully functioning typewriter
55. Smoke a whole cigar
56. Learn how to ice skate and rollerblade
57. Catch some crawdads (don't ask)
58. Do a crazy road trip with friends
59. Write about the things I experience
60. Stop doubting that I can accomplish numbers 1-59

What's on your bucket list???

A Few of My Favorite Nerdy Things: 3 Sites for a Rainy Day

Lately, in my interweb wanderings, I've found some pretty fantastic sites that you should definitely know about, especially if you're someone who would identify yourself as "Nerd," and/or "Bibliophile," or just plain "bored."
DRUMROLL......

1. First up, if you're someone who consumes books like chocolate and are in need of a new read, there is a fantastic site called BookMooch.com where you can exchange your already-read, no longer wanted books for new books that you DO want. Basically, BookMooch uses a system in which, after listing ten books to give away, you receive a point. That point can be spent on books you want, which you request from other members. When someone requests one of your listed books, YOU pay the postage and send it to them, but when it's your turn to receive a book, THEY pay for it. The bottom line: this is a fun way to clean out your collection and get some new reads, without much damage being done to your wallet. Remember too, media mail postage is the way to go!

copyright: bookmooch.com

2. Next up, is the lovely website for bored people known as StumbleUpon.com This site is the ultimate cure if you're feeling uninspired, or simply want something other than Pinterest to entertain you. At  www.stumbleupon.com you will need to make an account (don't worry, it's free) and then choose different categories that you're interested in. Some of mine include writing, photography, and coffee. Then, you hit the big red button that says "Stumble" at the top of the page and "Voila!" it brings up other great websites, articles, blogposts, and videos that pertain to your chosen interests. It's just a great way to explore what's out in the world, that five minutes before, you might not have known existed. So cool! Check it out!

copyright:stumbleupon.com

3. And last, but not least, is a site that I recently joined called The International Geek Girl Pen Pals Club their URL is http://geekgirlpenpals.com/ and essentially what this awesome site is all about is connecting geeks from around the world. By geek they mean anyone with a somewhat nerdy interest. . It could be anything from a Dr. Who obsession, to knitting. You can sign up to get a pen pal, which is great if you're like me and still believe that letter writing is the ultimate form of communication. The site also organizes what are deemed "Swaps," in which you register and are paired to receive something in the mail from a fellow geek. Each swap is different and they change each month. Sometimes you swap tea, sometimes geeky cards, or sometimes just surprising random gifts. I did this for the first time recently and was paired with a girl in Canada. It's a lot of fun and you're put into different age categories. They accept people from the age of 14 on up, and you're paired with others in your age group. This site is open to both genders now, too. So the bottom line: it's a really cool site for anyone who loves geeky things and/or snail mail, or just wants to connect with like-minded people.

No Copyright Infringement Intended

So there you have it! Three new amazing sites to check out on your next rainy day! Enjoy!

Country Mouse Musings

It's good to be home for awhile. Wisconsin soothes my worried soul.  Here, I have no need for busy city sidewalks, where my shoes are more important to the passerby than my character.

 I only need long walks on my favorite paths.

And I'd rather have the sound of Amish buggies clattering down the road, than sirens and trains at night, and I'll take soft sunsets and starry skies, over glaring lights and the buzzing crowds.

 I know, that someday I might be separated from this place because life never ceases to surprise a person. But right now, I'm going to breathe in my Wisconsin air and wear a pair of muddy boots, with no one but the cattle to judge me.

And even they don't mind my country mouse ways.

Tuesday Tunes: Alexandre Desplat "The Meadow" and "Benjamin and Daisy"

    It's been all work and no play for me lately but, thankfully, Spring Break is just around the corner!  All of this studying, though, has given me the chance to just shut myself in my dorm room and listen to some incredible instrumental pieces. These pieces, without a single word, convey an enormous amount of emotion. Not to mention, they're great to just listen to while curled up in a blanket, drinking Yogi tea, and writing a paper with the space heater warming my toes. Trust me, I'm an expert at this!
   
So, this week I'm sharing a couple of pieces by the two time Grammy-winning composer, Alexandre Desplat. His music is a new discovery for me, although I've seen many of the films for which he has composed.

The first piece is called "The Meadow" and just because it was written for the Twilight series doesn't make it any less beautiful. I simply consider it outside of the context of the amusing Vampire-Werewolf- Human love triangle.

 The second piece, also by Desplat, is from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and is titled "Benjamin and Daisy." This piece is simple, yet lovely and definitely a great piece for paper-writing! Enjoy and Happy Tuesday!

Ash Wednesday is Weird

Today is Ash Wednesday, a bit of a strange day to both those who practice the Catholic faith, or another religion which observes this day, and those who don't. Even though I've grown up with this tradition and have had a priest press his thumb into a dish of ashes and proceed to smudge them in the shape of a cross on my forehead every year of my life, it still seems a bit, well, unusual, maybe even unsettling. However, the words said by the priest are intended to startle. "Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return." I mean, it's weird and unconventional. This is the one day during the year where I'm starkly told, "Look, you're made from nothing but dirt, and someday you'll be nothing but dirt and worm food in the ground again."

I didn't take this one, but I like it and I found it on the interweb. :)

 It's a scary thought; one that might not make a person terribly fuzzy inside. I mean, where's the happy-go-lucky Heaven talk that we're used to? No one WANTS to think about death. We trot blissfully along, sharing our memes on Facebook, complaining because we missed the last episode of The Bachelor, and making our Dunkin' runs each morning, griping about how slow traffic is on the way.
We just had Valentine's Day, with all these cute, albeit overpriced, pink cards, and giant stuffed animals and thoughts of love, romance, and gushy-mushy feeling-ness. Then, BAM! Ash Wednesday sneaks in so quickly that we could miss it if it weren't for the fact that someone's telling us we're going to die. (Not exactly my favorite self-esteem booster!)

"Carpe Diem" Taken in Warner, NH

  And yet, I know that without a doubt, this is, in fact, one of the most important days of the year, because if it weren't for that oh-so-strange tradition of wearing a cross of ashes upon my forehead once a year, when else would I stop and consider that life is short; that I could die tomorrow; that nothing is certain in this world and that maybe I need to love a little more? Sure, Valentine's is the day that claims to be all about love, but in many ways, I think Ash Wednesday is the better reminder of  how to love. I'm not talking about the Taylor Swift "Cherry lips, crystal skies" kind, or even better her, " You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess" stuff. I'm talking about loving that guy at work whose voice grates on you like nails on a chalkboard, or the girl who doesn't wear enough deodorant; about having a sincere compliment for that student who always seems a bit down at school, or saying hello to that guy you usually avoid because his Facebook posts are all about cats. It's the tough love that Ash Wednesday reminds us of, saying "Wake up! You have only a tiny, tiny piece of time to love and give and when you're tired, to give some more!"
So yes, Ash Wednesday is weird; weird and beautiful, and absolutely necessary in this world of superfluous, silly, and stodgy happenings. It reminds us of the simple fact that we are human, that we are mortal, and that life will be over in the blink of an eye.

       

Sometimes, you just need to wear that little black dress!

There are moments when  my brain does this thing where it decides to present to me every unanswered question in my life ALL AT THE SAME TIME! "Where are you going with your life?" "Why don't you have that figured out yet?" "Oh, and why does your hair look like Barbie's after she was sucked through the lawnmower?" And usually this occurs during a week where I'm tired, or hormonal, or sick, or all of the above. So, sometimes after a week like that, a girl just needs to don a little black dress, put on a pair of heels, and dance with her man. And that's what I did.
 Granted, I think every woman loves those days where nothing in the world can make her lather on foundation, or mascara; those Netflix-bingeing, oreo-eating, "ain't- getting -up- for- nothing- other- than- the- bathroom" kinda days. But, on the other hand, once in a VERY blue moon, it's great to just feel pretty and have someone tell you it's true. After all, we women are beautiful creatures, right? We were made in a way that makes us, to put it simply, admirable.

The aforementioned little black dress, and the man.

So, dear lady readers, if you're feeling down in the dumps this February; if your skin is as dry and pale as mine has gotten, try painting your nails a fun shade, or attempting to create one of those 40 billion outfits you pinned on Pinterest from your own closet, or maybe treat yourself to a day of pampering. You might be surprised at how much of a difference the little things make. If you feel good about yourself, or maybe just a little more refreshed, I promise it'll show!
 Oftentimes, I find myself sinking into the daily routine, the endless motions of getting out of bed and drearily trudging to the shower, slipping into the most convenient outfit available, and heading out the door, only to find later in the day that I had a deodorant stain front-and-center on my shirt, which escaped unnoticed in the rush. Other times, just the idea of brushing my hair sounds as daunting as one of Hercules' labors. I think sometimes, I just forget to care, and to take the trouble to feel good about myself. It's an uphill battle most of the time, and especially during the months where leg-shaving is like bulldozing a miniature rainforest.
Obviously, your happiness doesn't come down to physical appearances, but  they certainly do help.
If not, there's always too much Netflix,  and never enough Oreos.         

Tuesday Tunes: A Fine Frenzy "Almost Lover"

Today's song is slower, more melancholic and a tad angsty, about of a love gone wrong. It's written and performed by songwriter Alison Sudol, who is the lead singer of A Fine Frenzy.The lyrics are shared below because they themselves are beautiful and perfect for this cloudy, winter's day. Enjoy!

Alison Sudol, lead singer of A Fine Frenzy

                                                      Listen to this song on Youtube!

 

                                         Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

                                          Your fingertips across my skin
                                          The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
                                          You sang me Spanish lullabies
                                          The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

                                          Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
                                           I thought you'd want the same for me

                                         Goodbye, my almost lover
                                         Goodbye, my hopeless dream
                                          I'm trying not to think about you
                                          Can't you just let me be?

                                          So long, my luckless romance
                                          My back is turned on you
                                          Should've known you'd bring me heartache
                                          Almost lovers always do

                                         We walked along a crowded street
                                         You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
                                         And when you left you kissed my lips
                                         You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

                                         Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
                                          I thought you'd want the same for me

                                          Goodbye, my almost lover
                                          Goodbye, my hopeless dream
                                          I'm trying not to think about you
                                          Can't you just let me be?

                                          So long, my luckless romance
                                          My back is turned on you
                                          Should've known you'd bring me heartache
                                          Almost lovers always do

                                         I cannot go to the ocean
                                         I cannot try the streets at night
                                         I cannot wake up in the morning
                                        Without you on my mind

                                        So you're gone and I'm haunted
                                        And I bet you are just fine

                                        Did I make it that easy to walk
                                        Right in and out of my life?

                                       Goodbye, my almost lover
                                       Goodbye, my hopeless dream
                                       I'm trying not to think about you
                                      Why can't you just let me be?

                                       So long, my luckless romance
                                       My back is turned on you
                                       Should've known you'd bring me heartache
                                       Almost lovers always do

                     

                                                       

Where are all the candy sampling jobs?

There is nothing more stressful for me than the yearly search for a summer job. It's inevitable, but I prolong the scary process as long as possible by shoving the thoughts of applications, interviews, and resumes to the most dusty corners of my brain. Now, however, is the time when they begin creeping out and whispering sinister things like, "Time to go back to bagging tampons for minimum wage each day!" or, " Can you see yourself in the Burger King uniform? You'd look like a beached whale! But a pretty beached whale, don't worry!"
ummmmm..... yeah, no. Please. No.

What I wanna know, is where are all the candy sampling jobs? Or ice cream? Heck, I'd settle for cake at this point! Or, on the other hand, if someone wanted to pay me to go garage-saleing (Yes, in my book that is a legitimate verb!) I'd be pretty fantastic in that area too. My resume could read:

 -EXPERT CAKE, CANDY, AND ICE CREAM CONNOISSEUR!
-QUEEN OF THRIFT SHOPPING AND GARAGE SALES!
-WILLING TO SAMPLE SWEETS AND FIND TREASURES AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY!

Hello? That's a fantabulous resume right?!?!
Well, I thought so anyways....

I guess at the end of the day, I'll be thrilled to find any job, but if it's candy sampling, or Thrift Shopping my happiness will be complete.

Back to the real world. I have a paper to write, and a resume too. (Sigh) First world problems. 




 
     

Tuesday Tunes: The Head and the Heart "Ghosts"

I'm happy to finally be getting back to my weekly song post. This group, The Head and the Heart, is a favorite of mine. Formed in Seattle, they have a gritty, hypnotic tone and I'd suggest that if you like this song, you check out some of their others like "Lost in My Mind," "Let's Be Still," or "Shake." They definitely fall under the "Indie" category, and seem to embrace the plaid shirts, full beards, and unique photoshoots that have come to designate Hipster-ness. The link to this song is provided below. Enjoy!

The Head and the Heart

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un0TPoOpcDw

Chewbacca and Coffee

Me, prior to coffee and multiple applications of Cover Girl foundation

"NOOOO!!! You took the last cup of coffee?!?!?!"

Keeping up on my blog has been pretty difficult lately. Life is just a wee bit crazy now that I'm back out East and trying to crawl out of my creaking bunk bed, which involves gingerly stepping onto the top of a dresser and leaping several feet to the floor, and make it to my 9 a.m. class each day. Usually, the morning begins with my alarm going off an hour before class and me proceeding to hit the glorious "snooze" button approximately 30 times. (God bless whoever invented that, by the way!)  Amazingly, my roommates have not killed me for it yet. I then endeavor to look slightly less like Chewbacca and fail miserably unless class has miraculously been delayed, which is like, never. In a somewhat- quick-but-really-not-at-all walk, I manage to find my way to the campus' multi-purpose building, growling and hissing at anyone who is standing between me and the coffee maker. Some days, I make it in time. And other days... "Woe unto you, oh freshman who stole the last cup!"
Carrying my slightly stained coffee mug in one hand, and an enormous bag of books in the other, I sludge through the snow and slip into class a few minutes late, receiving the dreaded raised eyebrows of my Humanities professor. Once the necessary caffeine dosage is running through my veins, the morning usually improves by about 300% and so does class participation.
 And so, dear readers, I'm sorry I haven't been posting as much. I still love blogging, I just have to summon my inner Chewy strength and get my life together. Until then, I'll be writing papers at 3 a.m. and eating too many chocolate covered espresso beans.

Photographs No. 1

 Tonight, I would just like to share some of my photography.
 Meandering about with camera in hand is one of my favorite pastimes and here are some shots that I'm especially happy with.They were taken in various cities and towns I've visited. Let me know which ones you like in the comment section!

Taken at the Boston Opera House

"I'll Walk the Line"

Taken in Brooklyn, NY

"Little Italy" Boston, MA

NYC

taken in New York City, NY

"The Inquisitor"

Wisconsin Summer Night

Sometimes, photographing the little things brings the most joy.

"Sunday Nap"

Claddagh

"Lonely One"

"The Stare Down"

Anna Ternheim: The Longer the Waiting

So, I realized I missed my usual Tuesday post of a song that I like. So, here is one from a Swedish singer and songwriter from Stockholm, Sweden named Anna Ternheim. She has a very soothing, melodic voice that will bring on a wave of nostalgia. I love her harmony in this particular song. Enjoy!
P.S.- This is for a certain ginger boyfriend of mine whom I haven't seen for a month and who is currently a bazzillion miles away in the Dominican Republic, but who will be back with me soon. I miss you.

Anna Ternheim

Saving the Little Bookstores of America: A Rejection of Amazon

Yesterday I read a really fascinating article (see link below) about Amazon.com and how destructive

this website has been to the little bookstores that have been around for years in the United States. A book lover like myself might be biased, but this article stirred up my interest and I thought others should know why.

Americans love all things fast; all things convenient and especially, all things cheap. Our restaurants brag that they are all three, and goodness help you should you take more than a few minutes preparing that oh-so-cheap food. Now, don't get me wrong, having my McDonald's snack wrap in four minutes flat always makes me a happy camper, but this article startled me a bit, and American as I am, my love of bookstores overtook my desire for convenience.

In this article, writer Albert Wu, says that "From its inception Amazon has sought to disrupt the traditional bookselling market. The tactic is simple: undercut the competition, selling books at a loss if necessary, while building up a huge customer base and using it to mine salable consumer data, cross-market other products, and leverage industry prices. The plan has succeeded brilliantly; current estimates are that Amazon sells about half of all books sold in the United States." So what? Right? So, what if a successful company has taken over most of the book sales in the U.S. Why does it matter?

I'll tell you. It's about culture and everything that the little bookstores of America have brought to their cities throughout the U.S. They are places where in this busy, loud, chaotic world a person can slow down a bit, have a good conversation, search through shelves of novels, or just sit and read for awhile. It also has to do with the little guy, the small business owner. My own father, the Clock Repairman, has a little store tucked away on a city side-street where he fixes, by hand, people's clocks and watches. Much like him, these bookstore owners do their work on a smaller scale and for many it is a labor of love. Their stores are little hubs of barely surviving culture, containing the writings of men long gone, but whose thoughts still impact the society we live in today.

Amazon is close to smothering these happy pockets of a barely hanging-on industry, that of the bookseller. These little shops are becoming fewer and far between. So, I've decided, and I hope you do to, to buy my books in future from the little guy. Try to find a bookstore in your area. Go there for your purchases and maybe it will be a bit more expensive, but trust me, it's more satisfying to hand a real, caring person your money and receive a crinkly bag full of paper treasures, than to simply stare at a computer screen and punch in a credit card number.

Or, if you don't find what you're looking for locally, try one of my favorite sites: http://www.abebooks.com/ Abebooks is a site with thousands of booksellers from across the country, listing their books usually at very good prices.

Also, take a look at the article that inspired this whole rant: https://www.commonwealmagazine.org/browsers-welcome