In My Wildest Dreams- The Beauty of This Unpredictable Life

Life has been insanely busy and so exciting lately, and I haven't taken a moment to just write about it. 

So, I wanted to just reflect really briefly on just how much of a roller-coaster I've been on lately and why that ride has been the best thing that's happened to me: as in, EVER!

For one thing, I'm getting married. Wait, wait, let me say that again: I'M GETTING MARRIED. Sometimes throughout the day, I'll just think about it and feel for the ring on my left hand, and just say, "Wow. This is really happening!" 

I am at last, after three years of dating, two of which were long-distance, going to be with my handsome ginger. No more saying goodbye at airports, or goodnight over a phone when we're thousands of miles apart. No more wishing I could see his facial expressions, instead of having to picture them in my mind while I tell him something about my day. It may sound dramatic, but for anyone who has been in a long distance relationship for an extended period of time, well, you know what I'm talking about.

Secondly, I recently applied for my dream job: working as a nanny in Rome, with all expenses paid. Going to Europe has been a dream since I was little and I tried several times to get there, without success. Until now... in my senior year of college, when out of the blue, an opportunity presented itself. After multiple interviews, and  much anxious waiting, I was given the job! So, yes, I am going to Rome for six weeks this summer to watch a darling baby, eat gelato, and soak up every moment I can of another country's culture! Amen? Amen!

Finally, after opening an Etsy shop about a year ago, I have decided to try and take it to a whole new level after graduating from college. After all, the experts, whoever "they" are, always say to do what you love and I LOVE finding and selling treasures. It has paid for my coffee, my plane tickets, and my drinks on the occasional time that I get away from my homework for awhile. I can't wait to see where this next step takes me! 

Needless to say, I am feeling so overwhelmed with everything that has happened and so, so incredibly blessed by God. I am amazed at what He has done with my simple, unassuming life. It's funny how we doubt Him, how we think that He'll leave us stranded somewhere and that we'll never find direction, when in fact, He has never left us at all. 

He's been right there the whole time, and was just telling us to be patient, because He has something more incredible in store than we could possibly imagine.

For My Babcia: The Original Treasure Hunter

When I was a little girl, about twice a year my mother would load her five kids, and all of their suitcases, into our much-loved blue mini van and take off on a ten hour trip to Dayton, Ohio. Now, this endeavor alone says a lot about my mother. She happens to be one of the most capable people I know and her no fear approach to a trip that long, with a bunch of squabbling little kids in the back seat, makes me just that much more in awe of her.

One of my favorite parts about going to Ohio was visiting my darling Polish grandmother, known to her grand-kids as Babcia. This tiny, feisty, white-haired woman always opened the door with a cheery "hey everybody!" and I could hear the crazy squawking of her bird, who always tried to bite me, from inside. She usually had a soccer game on TV, or basketball, or baseball, or basically any sport would do, as long as it was sports.

Babcia with my friend's and I.

Babcia's house was always so exciting because in every nook and cranny were treasures. My sisters and I had endless fun exploring bins of Barbie clothes, funny toys, and random dress ups. It was for us, magical, because we just never knew what we'd find in Babcia's house and whenever she saw us with something she'd say, "Take it!" Babcia was definitely a gift-giver by nature. It was her love language, and her constant desire to give, reflected her generous, loving heart.

 I see so much of this spirit in my own mother, her daughter, whose house is always overflowing with gifts for every neighbor, and friend of a friend, or distant relative when Christmas rolls around.
My aunts, too,  have so much of Babcia's spirit within them and "treasure-hunting" has now become a regular part of their lives. Going to a thrift store, and walking out with the most random, awesome thing is pretty magical and my aunts are all fantastic magicians. I swear, it's like a superpower!

Babcia, and her six children. My mom's the one with the awesome yellow shoes.

So, recently, I realized that I have some of this spark within me, and that it's combined with my father, the ClockMaker's, entrepreneurial side. As a result, I decided to open an Etsy shop. With the help of my Mom, the expertise of my aunts, and the encouragement of my father, I recently took a leap and opened an online store called Honestly Ophelia Vintage, selling my own treasure-hunting finds.

And I just wanted to say thank you, to my Babcia, who started it all. I love her and I miss her, but I think she'd enjoy the fact that her love of unique, kitschy, awesome things is still very alive in her four daughters, and her granddaughter. So, thank you, Babcia! You're the best.


To take a look at my Etsy shop click here:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/HonestlyOphelia

To see my aunts' shops click here:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/Felcasattic
And here:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/QueenieBot

A Few Shiny Quarters: On Friendship

"I would rather have four shiny quarters than 100 dull pennies."
Such says a quotation about friendship that  I read awhile ago, and filed into one of the many Latin- verb- stuffed crevices of my poor brain. It's something, though, that has certainly stuck, unlike the fourth principle part of most of those vocabulary words.

People come and go in life, some stay for a very brief time, but make an impact nonetheless. Others, you swear will stay forever, until one day you're debating over whether or not they'd care if you sent a brief text to say "I miss you," and questioning how you got to that point.

Image by Valfre.

Personally, I've dubbed myself a "floater," since attending college. Basically, that just means that I don't have a set clique, or group of friends that I'm constantly around when I'm there. I drift from person to person, and then cycle back. That doesn't mean that I don't care about my friends, it just means that I enjoy being around a variety of different personalities and temperaments in order to stay refreshed and maintain some semblance of sanity. However, over the last two and half years, I have had many people coming in and out of my life, but I was not feeling as though I had very strong ties with any of them and that bothered me. The energy and emotion it took to try and maintain countless friendships was thinly spread between them all, so that in reality, there wasn't enough genuine love to keep them alive.

And then, when I heard the quotation about the four shiny quarters, I knew that that was what I was lacking. I didn't need TONS of friends, but just a handful of meaningful, strong friendships, those shiny quarters that would stay with me and love me at my best and at my worst; friends who would be worth loving no matter what.

Image by Valfre.

Mary Pope Osborne, the children's author of the Magic Treehouse series came and gave a lecture to the students at my college. She, too, had some great advice about friendship. "Surround yourself with people who are more talented and intelligent than you are," she said. She wasn't saying, "Make yourself feel inferior," but rather, let the people you befriend be those who inspire you, who make you feel passionate about life. Mary herself said that she was currently living with her husband, who was an actor, and two friends, one of which was a talented musician, the other an artist and that these people inspired her creativity and made her truly think outside the box.


The people who I have remained closest with may not all lead lives that allow them to concentrate entirely on their passions, but the point is, they have passions. One friend of going on ten years is a fantastic artist, who also happens to be a great trapper, fisher, and hunter. She's constantly bubbling with laughter and vibrant energy and she's continually challenging me to be more adventurous, to push myself out of my comfort zone, whether that means midnight skinny-dipping, or simply getting away from technology for awhile to go outside and enjoy the day.

Image by Valfre

Another is an aspiring writer,with a lovely soul and a constant drive to get things done. She's got the most incredible spirit and her goodness is an inspiration to me. Just as in a romantic relationship, you search for a person who makes you strive to improve yourself, your friends should certainly make you a better person, and not drag you down.

The thing I love about these people, and others, is that they don't settle for getting smashed on the weekend. They'd rather go fishing, read a good book, have a coffee date, make a good meal, or maybe have a bonfire. They aren't all the same, either. One of them loves country music and canoeing, another loves Korean dramas and anime. Some of them have never met each other, and some just don't hang out together. So my "floater" title still applies in a way, but rather than trying to invest a great deal of energy into too many friendships, I'm concentrating on the ones that are helping me live life to the fullest, who are challenging me to take advantage of every day that I have been given. I'm investing my heart and soul into fewer people, but those few are beautiful kindred spirits, who teach me something new every day. Those few shiny quarters are worth so much more than one hundred dull pennies.

I'm Not Dating My "Ideal" Man and That's Okay

"Hmmm... I'd prefer a lanky guy, blonde, hazel eyes, not too muscular, and he has to have a good sense of humor. Also, he has to think I'm funny. He has to be willing to live in the country, and know how to dress well, and he needs to be very intellectual."
Heard this before? Yeah. Me too.
Nearly every girl I know has run through her shopping list of "ideal man" qualities at one point or another. Not going to lie, I've done it too.
My own list was somewhere along the predictable lines of  tall, dark, and EXTREMELY handsome. I wanted someone taller than my own 5'9'' and very smart, a Shakespeare geek like me, and obviously someone with a passion for everything I liked.

No copyright infringement intended.

But guess what? I'm not dating my "ideal man." Nope.
In fact, God probably started laughing each time my friends and I went through our lists, because one day I met someone very different from my version of perfect. He is not dark haired, in fact his hair is somewhere between red and orange. His eyes aren't the "ideal"green, (they're actually this incredible color that looks like liquid gold in the sunlight. Oops, did I just say that?). He'd rather read non-fiction books about the stock market, or being successful in business than Shakespeare, and he didn't like coffee much when we first met. (Don't worry, he's joined the dark side.) But, regardless of all of this, he is the ideal.

Why? Because my imaginary man was nowhere near the mark (aside from the handsome and smart part)
I didn't know that I would need someone who actually enjoys doing taxes, or who likes the 49'ers, loves Looney Tunes and doesn't really get excited about ice cream. But God knew. He knew I needed a man who will make me laugh hysterically when he uses a strange metaphor, who'll enjoy my silly blog posts, and might even like cats and small children more than I do. Someone who will burst out singing Spanish songs randomly, dare me to eat a Chipotle burrito faster than him, and is willing to drive in Boston, while I hyperventilate and have panic attacks in the passenger seat. Someone who will kneel down and say the rosary with me when we're most annoyed, stressed, or upset about something.

But that's the whole point. God knows. His ideal for you is already so much better than the combination of all the qualities on your little checklist could possibly be. He created someone that you're never going to be able to describe until the day they're by your side. Maybe you won't find them in a tiny college on a mountain in the middle of who-the-hell-knows-where New England, but you will find him.
 And suddenly, it hits you: he's not your ideal, he's a million times better.

It's 3 a.m.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. It's what they all say. 
I think I'd have to agree, for I have never loved him more than in these months of separation. I have never felt my heart strings pulled so tightly, like an old puppet's, as when I think for a split second it is his voice I hear while hurrying to morning classes. I've never had a harder time falling asleep than these weeks of knowing he is hundreds of miles away.
 I wish I could say that I'm strong and independent without him, but the truth is, I don't want to be. I want nothing more than to be vulnerable if it means he is here; to be dependent, if it is his strong shoulders on which I depend. I don't even mind that my normal "no-romance" face is crumbling, because what the hell, it's 3 a.m. and I miss you more than anything, love. 

Yeah, I've got it bad, this love thing. 
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Princess Charming-But-Only-After-Caffeine-Consumption

In between reading Chaucer and DesCartes, Latin tests and job hunting on the web, I've found myself thinking a lot about where I'm headed in my life and just how much of that involves this handsome ginger I happen to be dating and I think I'd like to do a series of posts about relationships. Not to go all sentimental on you, but just because I have a lot of weird ideas that need to be spilled and vented properly.

Since starting my first serious relationship I've had the realization that I am SO unprepared for marriage. In my book, that's the entire purpose of dating, to see if that person is someone you would spend the rest of your life with. Hence, why I was not allowed to date in high school, because when you still need your mom to drive you to the theater, it just doesn't make sense.

On the other hand, I'm not advocating that people go out "hunting" for a spouse once they reach a decent age, which seems to be a fairly common concept, especially among Catholics and Christians. If you've reached seventeen and you feel the need to start talking to that older guy with the pit bull next door, just stop and breathe. There's no need to do that.

The right person for you will come into your life at some point, and when they do, it'll be fantastic! But until then, calm down. Relax. Go have some adventures, eat some Starburst jelly beans, try underwater basket weaving, and DON'T PANIC. You can wait around listening to Taylor Swift songs and expecting Prince Charming to fall from the sky, or you can live life, and while you're out star-gazing from the Rockies, or becoming a Marine Biologist,  you might just find that other person in the most unexpected way possible. I honestly believe that when you stop fretting about it, you become that much happier and as the lovely miss Audrey Hepburn said:

On the other hand, if you are currently in a relationship and feeling all those tingly feels, think about what that means.

I know for me, maybe due to those baby-doll toting instincts that started around age two, I grew up determined that I would just get married as soon as humanly possible. Now, however, I look in the mirror and think, "Me? Get married right now? Umm...... hahahaha! NO." It's not because I have an aversion to marriage, or that I feel drawn to a fancy little desk job somewhere. Nope. For me, it's simply a realization that I have so much to work on before I can be a dependable spouse for any guy, whether it's the one I'm currently dating, or someone I'll meet 10 years from now. How can I expect a Prince Charming when I'm essentially Princess Sometimes-Charming-But-Only-After-Caffeine? It's a two way street, people.

I've been told that marriage is difficult; really, really difficult and when I find myself struggling to get my teeth brushed and makeup on before 2 p.m. every day , I just realize that in no way am I in a responsible enough state of existence to be someone's wife, or mother. I want to be ready and capable before I make that leap. I  understand that no one can ever be 100% prepared, but it would be great to at least be somewhere around half that, or maybe to just be able to choose an apple over a dozen Chips Ahoy when the scale indicates it's time. At the very least, I want to be kinder, stronger, sweeter, and wiser. Not perfect, just better. Is that too much to ask?

Obviously, everyone is unique, but I just want to say to any one considering marriage, or searching for "the one," try not to rush into things. If that person really loves you, they'll understand that it takes time to figure life out, to grow, mature, and have a few crazy adventures before the serious stuff begins. And if you feel like he or she is nowhere to be found, stop looking around every corner for him. Take some time to focus on your own personal growth. The more you've grown in all the best areas of your personality, the better it'll be when things do get difficult, as they undoubtedly will down the road.

So, from Princess Charming-But-Only-After-Caffeine-Consumption to you... drink ALL the coffee and work on that charm stuff. It'll be okay. 


YOU HAVE NOW REACHED THE END OF MY CRAZY RANT. THANKS FOR READING!