A Few Shiny Quarters: On Friendship

"I would rather have four shiny quarters than 100 dull pennies."
Such says a quotation about friendship that  I read awhile ago, and filed into one of the many Latin- verb- stuffed crevices of my poor brain. It's something, though, that has certainly stuck, unlike the fourth principle part of most of those vocabulary words.

People come and go in life, some stay for a very brief time, but make an impact nonetheless. Others, you swear will stay forever, until one day you're debating over whether or not they'd care if you sent a brief text to say "I miss you," and questioning how you got to that point.

Image by Valfre.

Personally, I've dubbed myself a "floater," since attending college. Basically, that just means that I don't have a set clique, or group of friends that I'm constantly around when I'm there. I drift from person to person, and then cycle back. That doesn't mean that I don't care about my friends, it just means that I enjoy being around a variety of different personalities and temperaments in order to stay refreshed and maintain some semblance of sanity. However, over the last two and half years, I have had many people coming in and out of my life, but I was not feeling as though I had very strong ties with any of them and that bothered me. The energy and emotion it took to try and maintain countless friendships was thinly spread between them all, so that in reality, there wasn't enough genuine love to keep them alive.

And then, when I heard the quotation about the four shiny quarters, I knew that that was what I was lacking. I didn't need TONS of friends, but just a handful of meaningful, strong friendships, those shiny quarters that would stay with me and love me at my best and at my worst; friends who would be worth loving no matter what.

Image by Valfre.

Mary Pope Osborne, the children's author of the Magic Treehouse series came and gave a lecture to the students at my college. She, too, had some great advice about friendship. "Surround yourself with people who are more talented and intelligent than you are," she said. She wasn't saying, "Make yourself feel inferior," but rather, let the people you befriend be those who inspire you, who make you feel passionate about life. Mary herself said that she was currently living with her husband, who was an actor, and two friends, one of which was a talented musician, the other an artist and that these people inspired her creativity and made her truly think outside the box.


The people who I have remained closest with may not all lead lives that allow them to concentrate entirely on their passions, but the point is, they have passions. One friend of going on ten years is a fantastic artist, who also happens to be a great trapper, fisher, and hunter. She's constantly bubbling with laughter and vibrant energy and she's continually challenging me to be more adventurous, to push myself out of my comfort zone, whether that means midnight skinny-dipping, or simply getting away from technology for awhile to go outside and enjoy the day.

Image by Valfre

Another is an aspiring writer,with a lovely soul and a constant drive to get things done. She's got the most incredible spirit and her goodness is an inspiration to me. Just as in a romantic relationship, you search for a person who makes you strive to improve yourself, your friends should certainly make you a better person, and not drag you down.

The thing I love about these people, and others, is that they don't settle for getting smashed on the weekend. They'd rather go fishing, read a good book, have a coffee date, make a good meal, or maybe have a bonfire. They aren't all the same, either. One of them loves country music and canoeing, another loves Korean dramas and anime. Some of them have never met each other, and some just don't hang out together. So my "floater" title still applies in a way, but rather than trying to invest a great deal of energy into too many friendships, I'm concentrating on the ones that are helping me live life to the fullest, who are challenging me to take advantage of every day that I have been given. I'm investing my heart and soul into fewer people, but those few are beautiful kindred spirits, who teach me something new every day. Those few shiny quarters are worth so much more than one hundred dull pennies.